Marty the Moustache

Guess who STILL doesn’t have a spine?

Of course, its Aaron. I made him get a haircut so my glory is more noticeable. I figure this way his ugliness is overshadowed by my sheer brilliance and utter domination.

I also made him hang this picture of Lord Growlington III in our front entry way. Being a patron of the arts I knew this fine piece had to hang in an area of prominence in our home. The artist was inspired by Steven Segal and awesomeness. You can see it in the brush strokes.

BOOM CITY!!!!!

Guten tag, bitches. I’m back and ready to party!!!

Personally, this reminds me of Jordan coming out of retirement. The first time. None of that Washington Wizards bullshit.

Sometimes I drink by myself.  I advise you to not judge me. If you decide to ignore this advice I will be waiting for you when you get home from work.  And I’ll have a chain and a bad attitude with me.     

I told Aaron it was time for a behind the curtain post, so here I am blogging.  At first he was very against this picture.  I told him I was going to destroy his Care Bear collection while he slept…and he we are.  Master of negotiation. 

Earlier, Aaron and I were having a discussion about people that have had the greatest impact on us.  He of course said his Mom, which didn’t surprise me.  Almost every night I wake up while he’s having night terrors and screaming for his mommy.  I even caught him sucking his thumb one time.  In case you were wondering, I have dreams about machine guns and chainsaws.  I digress, my hero is Tom Selleck’s moustache.  Buzz Selleck.  Bet you didn’t know his name is Buzz.  Well it is.  Soak it up ladies, this is what dreams are made of.

A special someone broke Aaron’s last pair of sunglasses, so I made him buy these pups.  We then got in an argument about people with jobs making the purchasing decisions.  I told him MILFs with Moustaches is about blow up so get off my back. 

Aaron is on a softball team called The Pilgrim.  He of course didn’t tell me we had a game until the last minute so I’ll watch Das Boot tomorrow night.  Once we were there I figured I should get my game face on. 

Here I am with Aaron at his sister’s wedding reception.  I wanted to go ahead and get wasted but he was worried about ‘making a speech’.  I told him he can’t go through life being such a pussy all the time. 

Here I am on my first road trip.  I asked Aaron if I could drive, he told me there was no way I could reach the pedals and steer at the same time.  To get back at him I slipped some roofies in his bottle of water, we nearly died in a car wreck.